Bloody Hell
by SuckitLosers
Summary: England is tired of the stupid obnoxious Yankee of an American that he has to put up with in the present so he drifts off into memories of a better time, back when America wasn't quiet so loud. "... Odd why is it I'm remembering that of all things?" Warnings: Fluff, fluff and more fluff. And France. That's why it's T. Just to be safe.


"Bloody hell. Today was useless." I growled as I buckled at the knees and let gravity takes its course, my face soon meeting the bed sheets of the foreign hotel. Another meeting, another useless prattle of arguments, another huge pile of absolute nothing. I heaved a sigh turning onto my back and running my fingers through my blond hair. All we ever did at these meetings was fight I hardly see the point anymore. Especially when people invite me, that Frog and that Yankee bastard into the same room.

Another sigh as I slide my shoes off with my toes, ungracefully scattering them to god knows where of the room. I growled as I crawled further into my sleeping arena. I wanted to think nothing more of the two idiots, just dream of a happier tomorrow, filled with scones and tea and flying mint bunny. I felt a smile as my thoughts drifted to more peaceful things.

"AHAHAHA! DUDE RIGHT HAND RED!" the basic yelling tone could be heard throughout the entire hotel, I'm sure of it. I will need to make a complaint later. Why did America have to be in the room right next to me? Why couldn't we put a heavier sleeper here, like Italy, or Spain!

"Onhonhonhon, I actually like this position." And of course that Frog had to be there too didn't he? There was no way that it could just be America and his stupid alien and whale friend playing that human pretzel game now could it. No, not while I'm in the room next door.

"Dude! Hands to yourself in my room!" America scolded. Oh wow he could actually be responsible for once in his life. I think. I'm somewhat proud of him. "You wanna do that go get a condom!" he said just as audible. Where did I go wrong?!

He used to be such a cute thing. So small and susceptible to suggestions and so obedient. I miss those days more than anything, back when I was the older brother to the adorable clueless America, not like now where he's all loud and obnoxious.

I began to fade into the memories of better times. The heaviness of my eyes wearing on me, I hadn't realized I was this tired.

* * *

"Hey England?" The smaller, hardly to be called nation asked from his warm properly tucked in bed up at me. I smile down at his large swimming curious blue orbs.

"Yes America?" I pet some of the blond hair away from his face as he snuggles into my hand.

He pulls his hands to the edge of the blanket to pull it to his face so just his eyes could look at me. "D.. do you love me?" he asked apparently either very embarrassed or very afraid of what the answer might be. Since he was a child I had to assume the latter.

"Of course I do you twit." I laughed and tickled at his sides making him laugh as well. "Why on earth would you think otherwise?" I shook my head not understanding the child before me. I had never dealt with one younger than me, so child psychology was not my forte.

"umm well… it's just that… France was saying…" Oh was that this was?

I frowned and flicked his nose. "Don't you believe a word that Frog has to say to you. He's just a lying bag of bollucks." I stated sourly. I can't believe that Francey pants was still going after America even though I won him over fair and square!

"B-But England! I love you too so…" The child looked as if he were on the brink of tears. What did I do? I thought I just put his mind at ease not set him off again! He sat up panicked. " I really do, I love you this much." He held his arms as wide as they could go, and then some. I could see the strain in his muscles to provide more length.

I smiled for a moment at the pure adorableness of him. Was I ever this cute? I'd have to ask Scotland about that. "Alright, I understand." I cooed bringing his arms down to his lap. I leaned down and kissed his forehead. "So why don't you calm down and go to bed now?" I made my green eyes meet his blue. He nodded slowly and leaned back into his pillow. His compliance was more than what I could ask for.

As I stood to go America grabbed my hand squeezing it tightly but not hard enough to cause damage. I turned to look back to the boy country. "Yes America?" I asked thinking that this was going to be something trivial like getting a glass of water for him or something of the sort.

"England… We're, married now aren't we?" he asked as if he were simply double checking something he knew was confirmed. Leaving me to momentarily sputter on my own saliva.

"E-Excuse me?!" I inhaled looking wide-eyed at the boy lying in the bed beneath me. Where did he get such a wild and random accusation as marriage?

"You love me. And I love you. So that means we're married. Right?" he said looking up at me in confusion as if this was completely obvious to the rest of the world.

I sat down on his bed not sure on how to deal with the predicament. "Umm A-America. Marriage is between a man and a woman, and we're both… guys, hell we're brothers. W-we can't be married! Understand?" I tried to put as simple as possible, not sure if it was actually breaking through.

"But England! I love you so much it's not fair!" he complained, I suppose this is normal child behavior right? Right?

"America I love you too, but we really can't get marri-" I tried to pacify the whining child of a nation.

"I'll do it! I'll become big and strong and we will be married so you can't love anyone else got it!" he stated. Still overlooking the brother factor I see.

I sighed in defeat. "Fine." I guess it was healthy for him to have aspirations in life. And I could always set him straight later.

* * *

… Odd why is it I'm remembering that of all things? And… I don't think I ever set him right on that marriage… "IGGY!" I heard the banging at my door louder than a firearm going off right next to your ear.

I flinched away and convulsed my body to the point where I was out of the bed. "IIIIIIGGGGGYYYYY!" The loud voice… pleaded? Wow that was an interesting tone to hear when someone was practically breaking your hotel door down.

I yawned and looked at the alarm clock on my nightstand. 1:39. "Bloody Yankee…" I muttered the rest so even I couldn't make out what I was saying. Standing, and sluggishly making my way to the door, seeing if the country would actually break it down.

I opened the fine wood already well aware of who was on the other side. "You bloody git do you know what time it is in the morn-" I wasn't permitted to finish my sentence as a large blond American came crashing into my room and onto my body forcing me to the carpeting of the room.

"Iggy, how could you?!" he half sobbed half yelled. Oh joy, I'm missing something going on in that small overworked brain of his. Again.

I pushed at the larger mass above me to get him off. "You bloody twit get your stupid obese heart diseased arse off me!" I demanded, in turn he only clung to me closer and dug a tear filled face towards my own.

"How can you be so cruel Iggy?" he whined, a pain of guilt shot through my body. Though I have no idea why. I don't feel sorry for this idiot! Not at all!

"I'm simply stating facts, now get off, my pelvis can only take so much." I growled at him, green eyes flaring with unrest rage.

America made no indication of moving off of me though, instead he grabbed my face in the palm of his hands and brought it to his own. I glared further trying to show my discontent with our close proximity to each other, but before I could make comment he pressed his lips to my own.

They surprisingly didn't taste of hamburger, or fries, or any other fast food to go food. It was a bit minty, with an aftertaste of… I wasn't quiet sure but I must admit it was rather addictive. When he pulled back my face had heated to the point where it looked just like Romano whenever Spain got too handy with him.

I opened my mouth to say something. And I meant to say something of a scolding or what the hell was that nature. But all that came out was… "eh?" Damn I sounded just like… umm it started with a C… France and I got into an argument over him. Dammit I owned him for God's sake why can't I remember his bloody name!

"Why did you marry Francey Pants? You said you'd wait for me!" The younger, but larger nation sat back onto my thighs in a pout, looking hurt and highly upset.

"Huh.. marry… wait… France?" I frowned snapping back as I bit back with the Frog of a nation's name. "That was not consensual!" I snapped sitting myself upright glaring into hurt blue eyes.

Why was he so upset by something that happened way back when? "Besides it's over and done with now, we're not like that any more, thank God." I rolled my eyes and crossed my arms.

"Really?!" the larger nation's rebound was coming and I could feel the migraine that I usually had coming with it.

"Yes. Really. Who on earth told you we were still together?" I growled ready to shank whoever was spreading such awful slander about that Toad and me.

"France." America said flatly. Of course it would be that little fabulous slab himself. He just can't seem to stop now can he.

I sighed and fell back to the floor with a thunk making the taller jolt on my thighs. I put my hands on my face. "Ugh. It's too late at night to worry about such things!" I grumbled. "I'll deal with him in the morning." I said offhandedly.

I could feel the energy zip back into the one on top of me. "Okay!" his quirky smile was audible in his cheery voice. "Hey Iggy?"

"What?" I sighed, trying to drift off to sleep again, right there on the floor. If I were boring enough he'd go away.

"Nothing like this is ever going to happen again, right?" I felt his breath on my neck and a smile press against my skin.

_**A/n::**__ another little somethin' somethin' for my sister, since her favorite character in the known universe is America. And since I'm not sure I'm going to get anything else up relativly soon, there you go! I don't own anything. I love you all and happy earlieated Valentines day!  
_


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